My Biggest Challenge

My Biggest Challenge

My biggest challenge right now is I can't drag myself out of bed early. I have something I want to do and achieve but my fucking brain won't play ball.

I'm struggling here, people…

I've had this goal to create the habit of rising early, like 05:00, to have my own quiet space where I can think clearly and write. However, it's not happening

I'll achieve it for a short time, perhaps a couple days. Or maybe when I enlist the assistance of an early morning buddy it may last a bit longer.

But I always revert back to my older habits.

Now I'm not stupid, I know why this happens. I study this stuff and wrote a lengthy article on habit just a little while ago. Perhaps I need to work on the application – or maybe not.

There's momentum in my behaviour you see. The neural pathways in my brain are well established and like the space I make under the duvet on a brass monkeys morning like this.

Nonetheless, I dream of being the early riser.

It's a funny thing though.. If I'm catching an early flight or I have a job starting at 06:00 as I occasionally have, I have no bother getting up.

The problems arise when I have a commitment to keep with myself. Know what I mean?

Maybe That's A Good Thing

Maybe all of this is a good thing.

Maybe it's a sign I can free myself of the critical voice in my head pushing me on to live up to some outside notion of the ideal human being.

Well, not quite.

But I will say, that motherfucker in my head is much quieter than it used to be.

20 years ago or more when I started working for myself, few commitments and no family or wife, I was more uptight about work and responsibilities than I am today.

Really, today I couldn't give a fiddler's most of the time.

Watch it now! Don't jump the gun here!

When you hear someone say something like that most people immediately think; “slacker”, “waster”, or some similar adjective to describe someone of apparently less worth than is socially acceptable.

These ideas we hold about what is appropriate, what is socially acceptable when it comes to work, are just a little bit flawed.

When I work, I work with the same intention to create the best outcome I possibly can as I did 30 years ago when I started as a spotty faced teenager.

I pride myself on that.

In fact, it's programmed into me. I like this program so I leave it running.

The Benefits In Rising Early

There's a special silence early in the morning before the world wakes up.

There is peace before wife and kids rise, before the radio goes on, before the porridge goes on the hob and the toast goes in the toaster.

There's a space where I can be who I really am without the need to conform or behave appropriately for someone else.

Early in the morning, there is something else that speaks quietly. It cannot be heard when the noisy world pollutes our eardrums with the hustle and bustle of daily life.

I want communion with that. That's the truth of it.

The hustle and bustle of daily life brings with it wonderful experiences that are a part of what it means to be human. But the quiet has something else that most of the world misses most of the time.

Including me.

So it appears as I write this, that the only challenge I have is with myself.

And in that exchange within the space that I have my experience, I have made a commitment – to be here and write this piece every morning.

So I will.

And there is no greater motivation, it appears to me than to commit myself to delivering something to other people. In this case, you.

So I'll follow through…until I feel like not following through 😉

See you tomorrow.

***

The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don't go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth 
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don't go back to sleep!

– Rumi